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The Onion
theonion.com > powerball-by-the-numbers

Powerball By The Numbers

1+ hour, 42+ min ago   (144+ words) Monday, August 3, 2026 Smoggy with a soupcon of ragweed Many U.S.-based players have reportedly stopped purchasing Powerball tickets in spite of a growing jackpot, believing the odds of winning have plummeted amid the multistate lottery game’s recent expansion into the U.K....

The Onion
theonion.com > elon-musk-files-for-full-custody-of-all-u-s-children

Elon Musk Files For Full Custody Of All U.S. Children

6+ mon, 2+ week ago   (243+ words) STARBASE, TX—Claiming that his relationship with the nation’s adults had been ‘irreparably’ damaged by their recent comments in support of the trans community, Elon Musk announced Thursday that he had filed for full custody of all U.S. children....